Damaging His Calm
by ANGSWIN
Summary: Jayne knows that River damages his calm in a major way. However, it takes a rather drastic event during a caper to make him finally understand why she gets so completely underneath his skin...A post-"Serenity" fic written for the 2019 HetSwap Exchange


_This story was written for Miss_M for the 2019 HetSwap Exchange. She requested a Firefly fic with a Jayne/River pairing, an accidental or fake marriage, and a caper. Needless to say, I was more than happy to oblige! ;)_

* * *

**Damaging His Calm**

It was time for the morning meal on _Serenity_…which was also the time when the daily duty or mission assignments were handed out. Therefore, as usual, the captain and the crew were gathered around the galley table and engaged in the exchange of sarcastic remarks and friendly insults that were the long-standing norm for the close-knit chosen family who had been through Hell and back together. The pilot of the small vessel was the last one to enter the room, though. She was greeted cheerfully by most of the others, and her brother stood up to give her a hug, as well. Jayne, however, remained silent and even stiffened a little when River joined the rest of them at the table.

...

Ever since the incident with the Reavers…almost two years earlier…Jayne had felt strange around the girl...woman..._whatever. _He shook his head increduously. _Who would've thought that the lil' moonbrain could've taken on such a gorram savage horde by herself…and survived with nothin' more than a few minor flesh wounds? _he thought for probably the hundredth time…not with fear…but with a strange overwhelming sort of admiration.

The others had tread lightly around the girl for a while after the incident that had showcased her new deadly skill-set, even though she had also saved all of their lives in the process. However, the opposite had happened to Jayne. Something had clicked inside of him in the aftermath of the event and the side-effect was that he found himself to be much more interested in the woman than he had ever been before.

She had once told him that she could kill him with her brain…and now he knew that she could kill him with her hands, as well. However, that knowledge did not frighten him. In fact, the opposite was true. The girl whom he had tried to get removed from the ship so many times in the past now fascinated and excited him even more than anyone he had ever met before. In fact, just the thought of her leaving _Serenity_ now actually disturbed him in a way that he just did not understand. He had even had a few uneasy dreams about it...as well as more than just a few of the _other_ kind of dreams, too.

Oh, he understood what the pull below his belt meant when he looked at her. That one was easy. He had felt that for many women over the years ever since his voice had deepened and he had grown hair on his chest. (Not that he would ever say it aloud...mainly because he liked his manhood where it was...but before her, even the other female members of the crew used to occasionally feature in his fantasies, as well. After all, he had spent many long dark nights alone in his bunk with nothing but his questionable thoughts and his hand for company.) However, _that_ meant nothing. That was just natural biology as the Doc would say…and it was easy to handle…either by himself or with the help of a paid doxy – even though for some reason that he could not exactly explain, he had not even really wanted to visit one of them in a very long time, either.

For the life of him, he just could not understand why the little cloudcuckoolander caused not only the usual reaction that other attractive women did, but why he now always had an uncomfortable feeling that sort of fluttered in his chest and belly when he was around her...or why she was even on his mind so much to begin with. It was confusing. After all, they had never been particularly friendly - as evidenced by the fact that she had once stabbed him and he had tried to turn her over to the Alliance.

In addition to all of that, they did not even talk to each other much. When they did, however, their conversation was full of sarcasm, snark, and sometimes even impossible to understand nonsense - especially whenever she referred to herself in the third person. In fact, trying to talk to the girl always managed to make him feel like the aftermath of being sucked into an aft engine or something. Plus, she unsettled him in so many different ways when she turned those wide knowing eyes towards him.

All in all, she damaged his calm in a major way...and he did not like it because he could not seem to get rid of the feeling…no matter how much he yanked on his own chain. Nevertheless, Jayne just kept his new bewildering thoughts and unexpected feelings about the woman to himself – especially since he could only imagine what the others would say if they knew that he had let the little moonbrain get so completely underneath his skin.

He even tried to keep his distance from her, but it was especially difficult since the two of them were now considered to be the "muscle" of the group. Despite all of their differences, they still fought well together, and their styles were balanced. After all, Jayne preferred his guns and fists while River preferred blades and martial art style combat. Therefore, they had all of the angles covered whenever they were in a sticky situation that required them to fight their way out.

Consequently, Mal usually partnered them up on all of the difficult jobs when he thought that they might run into more trouble than usual. That, of course, turned out to be more often than not – especially since by definition they were a band of smugglers (among other things) who usually operated among the most lawless of the outer planets while also acting in constant defiance of the Alliance. Therefore, it did not help his situation at all that Jayne never failed to get all hot and bothered when he watched the girl take down experienced men twice her size - especially since that was an almost constant occurrence in their line of work.

...

On this particular day, however, Jayne was in for more of a shock than usual when the assignments for the current caper were discussed. Apparently, Mal had decided that River was not only going to be his partner for the day…she was also going to be his _wife!_

"Now wait just a gorram minute…" he started to complain while _she_ just silently watched the scene unfold with those big thoughtful eyes of hers.

"Quit your bellyachin', Jayne!" The warning tone was obvious in Mal's voice. "As I understand it, the men in this outpost outnumber the women-folk ten to one. Therefore, they consider any claimed woman as personal property and any unclaimed woman as up for grabs. We don't exactly know what kind of mess we are headin' into, or what it's gonna take to get those kidnapped girls and return 'em to their parents. There's a lot of coin at stake here...plus it's the right thing to do...and that's my favorite kind of job. Therefore, it makes a heap of sense to send you two in first...and that's why this job calls for a _hitched_ couple...because even River can't go it alone this time. Just get in…locate the girls…and, when we give you the signal, get back out again without gettin' yourself or them killed. Understand?"

Jayne reluctantly agreed…but he was not happy about it. After all, how was he supposed to act like he was married to the girl - especially when his manhood practically jumped up and begged like a dog for a bone at just the very thought of her actually being his in such a way?

River's silence continued long after Mal had left the galley, though, so Jayne could not tell what was going on in that confusing brain of hers or how she felt about having to pretend to be his wife. Therefore he did not even try to discuss it with her. In fact, he tried his best to ignore the feeling of her eyes on him...and his body's automatic response to her presence...as he turned to head back to his bunk. After all, he needed to collect Lux and his other weapons...and maybe take care of that _other_ problem while he was there, as well. Consequently, Jayne missed the smile that slowly crossed River's face as she watched him walk away.

* * *

_I should've tried harder! I should've refused the job! I should've quit and jumped on the first boat away from that gorram place that I could find, _Jayne thought later as he brooded alone in his bunk.

Upon their successful return, he had stormed back aboard, and locked himself into his quarters without talking to anyone. He just could not keep his mind off of the complete disaster of a mission. Oh, they had found the missing girls alright…and brought them safely aboard…and they had got cleanly away afterwards, as well. However, what he had to do to make all of that happen was unthinkable! He crashed down onto his bunk as he relived the disaster in his mind.

...

It had all started when they reached the edge of town where they had been met by four armed guards. That did not bother Jayne much since he thought that he could probably handle them himself even without the girl's help. With her, though, they were pretty much unbeatable. What did make his blood boil, however, was the way they looked at River…and completely ignored him when he tried to explain that they had been in space for quite a while and just needed to purchase some supplies for their trip home. It was their basic cover story because it was simple and believable.

"That your woman?" one of them finally asked as he continued to leer at her…and even licked his lips in anticipation. Jayne was then surprised by the almost overwhelming protective feeling that arose within him when he looked away from the disgusting man and over at the girl who stood there looking unbelievably tiny and pale - even though that had been the plan all along. She was the secret weapon and she needed to stay meek and mild until the very last moment in order to hold onto the element of surprise.

Jayne knew all of this, of course, but he also somehow knew at that moment that he would pull the man's arms off and then beat him to death with them if he even laid one finger on the girl - no matter how capable she was of taking care of herself! However, he also knew that the _Serenity_ crew was counting on the payday from this caper because they really were running low on supplies…he had not been completely lying about that...and so he held his temper.

"Yeah," he answered gruffly instead and he reached out to pull the girl to him – just to send the man a message, of course. However, he felt his heart actually stutter a bit when she wrapped her arms around him and melted into his side…all while she acted as if she was completely terrified. _ The girl has definitely missed her callin' on the stage,_ he thought...once he was able to think straight again.

"I don't see no ring," the man said doggedly, as his dragged his eyes over her body, anyway, oblivious to the death stare that Jayne gave him. "She got papers? A mark or a brand to prove ownership? If not, we got to confiscate her and put her in the pen with the rest of 'em."

Jayne did not like the sound of that at all. "She's _mine!"_ he growled as he fingered the weapon in his holster with one hand while the other still held the girl tight. He contemplated shooting them all dead right there…but then they would have to hightail it back to the ship without the kidnapped girls. Mal would have his head if he screwed up the plan this early into the game...plus the thought of young girls in the hands of men like these made him feel sick to his stomach.

Therefore, he resisted the violent urge for the time being. At least he now had a good idea that the girls were in the "pen" place that was mentioned. A glance down at River's face showed that she had caught the reference, too. However, all of that did not stop him from being extremely pissed off about the whole situation.

The man must have finally seen the danger in Jayne's face, though, so he backed off a bit. "Alright…alright…take it easy," he said. "We'll sort it out when we get to the magistrate's office to have her registered. Follow me…and no funny business...or the girl becomes ours anyway – not matter what claim you have on her."

As they turned to walk away, Jayne looked down into the moonbrain's pale face beside him again. He felt oddly reassured when the girl nodded slightly in response to his unspoken question. Therefore, he loosened his grip on her and she pulled away in order to stand next to him instead.

He received a shock, though, when she slipped her small hand into his large calloused one. She had never done that before…and it was certainly not part of the script! However, even though he felt that strange fluttering feeling yet again, he did not comment on it, and he even continued to hold onto the small bit of warmth all the way into town.

Jayne knew that Mal would have laughed himself half to death if he could see the two of them, but he told himself it was good for appearances – especially since a couple of the men still walked behind them while the other two led the way. However, in reality, Jayne began to suspect that he might have held on to the delicate hand anyway - even if the men had not been there.

Once they reached the courthouse, however, the sight of the "holding pen" that had been built inside of it made Jayne's jaw clench in anger - especially since it was full of seven or eight women. Even though he was far from perfect himself, his Ma had taught him to respect women better than _that_. After all, he had never taken an unwilling woman and he always made sure that whoever he was with - even the paid ones - enjoyed herself, too. However, the same could not be said of these women, obviously. In fact, some of them wept copiously, while others were already all cried out and could do nothing but look at him and River with bloodshot eyes and faces that had no hope left in them.

That was bad enough. However, his eyes automatically narrowed in on the two youngest ones in there. The two girls, who were huddled together, were even younger than River had been when she and her brother had joined the crew. Not only that, but one of them sported a black eye, as well. That made Jayne reach for his gun again, but a soft touch on his forearm and a small shake of her head made him realize that the little moonbrain was right. Now that they had located the "goods," they had to wait for the right moment to spring the trap so that Mal and Zoe could get there with the mule. In order to do that, they had to go with the flow…and the flow was taking them straight past the pen and into the magistrate's office.

...

"You wanna do _what_ to her?" Jayne roared in fury just a few minutes later as he stood in front of the local judge.

"Now…now…Mr. Cobb, was it? Regardless of what you believe, when you…and the woman…landed here, you became subject to our rules and regulations. Our charter clearly states that any unclaimed woman must be offered up at auction to the highest bidder who does not already have a wife. Fortunately, the next auction is planned for this afternoon. We already have a few women ready in the pen, but there is always room for one more. The problem is that you have no proof that this woman actually belongs to you – even though you said you were married by your ship's captain. However, since you apparently came here with innocent intentions, we are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. We are not savages, after all. We are reasonable men. Therefore, if you don't want her to go to auction, all you have to do is officially claim her now. You can either brand her or wed her again. The choice is yours. Branding is done out back in the stables. Weddings are held here in my office. You need to decide quickly, though, because I'm a busy man."

Jayne started to sweat as he tried to figure out the best thing to do with the choices that he had been given. _Damn Mal for putting me in this position! _ he thought as he looked desperately at the girl for guidance. However, she just watched him…and waited for him to make the decision with wide _trusting_ eyes.

Jayne knew that he needed to stall for time anyway because the signal had not been given to make their move yet. Therefore, he could not risk letting her be put in the pen. They might be forced to show their hand too soon that way. However, he obviously could not let the girl get branded, either. In fact, any man who tried to do that would soon find the red hot poker up his ass instead. That only left…and Jayne muttered a string of highly creative curses under his breath as he realized exactly what he was going to have to do.

"Alright, I'll marry the girl...but let's make it quick. We need to get back to our ship!" he growled. _And kill Mal, _he added silently as he once again missed the ghost of a smile that floated across the girl's lips.

The magistrate's face showed his disappointment in the man's decision because he knew the woman would have fetched a fine price – even as small and pale as she was. However, he also knew that the auction would still bring in a healthy sum from the women already in the pen. Therefore, he went ahead and performed the short version of the legally-binding ceremony for the off-worlders, anyway.

As for Jayne, however, when the magistrate pronounced them as man and wife, out of habit he almost spooked like a horse and ran for the hills. However, the girl obviously had other ideas, and she about damn near gave him a heart attack when she leaned up on the tips of her toes to kiss him. The kiss was soft and sweet, but the press of her form against his felt anything but innocent…and his body, which was always on edge around her anyway, completely forgot about the need to bolt as it reacted accordingly.

Just as he was about to grab the girl and kiss her again, though, the magistrate interrupted his chaotic thoughts when he handed him the signed marriage certificate and shook his hand. Jayne took the paper and absentmindedly slipped it into his back pocket as he abruptly came back to his senses when he suddenly realized that he, Jayne Cobb, had just went and got himself hitched - something that he had sworn he would never do - and to the moonbrain of all people! Mal and the Doc were going to kill him!

Before he had time to panic again, however, a nearby explosion rocked the courthouse. It was the signal! He and River looked at each other and nodded in agreement when their instinct and training kicked in as they moved apart and pulled out their concealed weapons.

Everything happened quickly at that point. Several more explosions shook the area, shots were fired, asses were kicked, bodies hit the ground, and all of the women in the pen were released and loaded into the mule to be taken to the safety of the ship.

Once they were all back on _Serenity,_ however, things were still much too hectic to discuss what had happened during the job. Therefore, Jayne retreated behind the locked door of his bunk while River went straight to the cockpit to get _Serenity_ back up into the sky again. The two young girls whom they had been sent to rescue, as well as the six other woman whom both the girls and River refused to leave behind, were comforted by Kaylee while Simon treated their injuries. Mal radioed in an report to the planetary authorities about the "marriage market" operation on the outpost in order to make sure that it was shut down for good, and Zoe prepared the evening meal for everyone.

Meanwhile, Jayne paced as much as he could in his small room as he brooded about the aspect of the mission that affected him the most. He was now married to the moonbrained girl…and it was for real this time! He even had the papers to prove it and everything.

_What am I goin' to do about it?_ he wondered in desperation.

His first instinct was to jump ship as soon as they landed to deliver the girls to their parents and drop off the other women, as well. He could then hire on with another crew headed in the opposite direction. In fact, he had almost decided on that course of action for sure, when he suddenly remembered the sweet kiss that the girl (his wife!) had given him.

He then felt a kind of longing for something he had never experienced before…something like what Zoe and Wash had obviously had together, what Kaylee and the Doc now had…and even what Mal and Inara still kept dancing around after all of these years. Those thoughts just confused him even more, though. He groaned and closed his eyes as he collapsed down into his bunk. He had a wistful thought that maybe if he fell asleep, he would find that the whole situation had been just a bad dream when he woke up. Then he would not have to worry about any of it ever again.

...

He was awakened an indeterminable amount of time later by the small click of his door as it unlocked _from the outside._ From sheer force of habit, he sprang from his bed, grabbed Vera from her usual spot, and pointed her at the door right as it swung open to reveal...the girl. He realized then that none of it had been a dream. He really had gotten married.

"Of course!" he grunted as his grip on his beloved gun relaxed and he allowed it to fall back to his side. "What are you doin' in here, Girl?" he demanded as he turned to place Vera back in her place of honor as he tried to ignore the raging storm of need and want that swirled inside of him at the sight of River in her long white nightdress. _Just like a bride on her weddin' night,_ he thought and then choked a bit when he suddenly realized that it must have been exactly for _that_ reason she was there – especially since she had never ventured into his personal space before.

His mind and body almost overloaded at the thought. On one hand, he apparently had a beautiful willing girl in his bunk – one whom he had wanted for far longer than he cared to admit. On the other hand, if he took her up on the offer, the girl's brother would probably slip some poison into his food or inject him with some deadly disease that would make all of his important parts rot and fall off. Not to mention that after all of that, Mal would almost certainly still throw him out of the airlock, as well.

"You think too much," River murmured quietly as she stepped further into the small room and locked the door behind her again. Jayne blinked in surprise at the statement since it was certainly the first time that anyone had ever accused him of _that._ In fact, usually, it was the other way around. However, the woman's increasingly close presence – as she slowly backed him up against his bunk - made it difficult to think straight. He gave it one more valiant effort, though.

"Girlie…you don't know what you're askin'!" he growled - even though the thought of what she obviously wanted had already made his pants unbearably tight…and he suddenly realized just how long it had been since he had been with a woman. He felt huge…maybe even bigger than he had ever been before…and he suddenly realized that he did not want to hurt his girl – not in any kind of way. Hell, he did not even know if she had ever been with a man before - especially since she had been just a young slip of a thing when she and her brother had first joined the crew.

However, that had been several years ago…and he suddenly remembered how many times during the past couple of years that she had taken off with Inara in her shuttle. Who knew where they had gone…and what they had done…or who they had done it with? Suddenly, the unwelcome thought that someone else had touched her…_his_ River…his _wife_…made him growl again in unexpected jealousy.

"None of that,_ Husband,_ " River murmured with the hint of a smile as she pushed Jayne forcefully backwards until he landed completely in his bunk. "I want to show you what I learned from Inara's friends for our marriage bed," she added. Before he could question that mysterious comment (which sounded almost as if she had already known exactly what was going to happen in the first place), she climbed up over him to place one knee on each side of his thighs. As she reached down to pull the nightdress up over her head, Jayne stopped thinking and started _doing._ He just could not bring himself to continue to question something he also desperately wanted. After all, he had never been known for his self-restraint. Therefore, he finally gave himself up to the pleasures of consummating his marriage to his beautiful...and as he soon found out...very flexible and talented wife.

...

At the end of the ship's sleep cycle, Jayne awoke to find his arms wrapped protectively around the girl as she rested against his bare chest. Nobody would ever accuse him of being a sentimental man, but even he could not continue to deny that he harbored an unusually _soft_ feeling for the woman - and he finally realized that was what all of those strange fluttering feelings had meant, as well - especially when they compelled him to reach over and gently brush the stray hair away from her pretty little face. The shock of actually being married had mostly worn off and, in his former life-long bachelor heart, he felt a unfamiliar sort of happiness with his situation.

In fact, now that he no longer felt the need to run (not that it would have done much good since River had calmly informed him that if he tried, she would simply hunt him down again), he actually realized that he had probably just scored the biggest and shiniest payday of his life. After all, _his_ woman was beautiful...she could kick anybody's ass...she had also apparently taken quite a few lessons from expert Companions...and for some strange reason, she actually wanted to be with him, too! Therefore, what else could he possibly want in a wife?

_Sure, she's a lil' moonbrain...but ain't we all a bit crazy in some way or the other? _he thought._ Why else would we pick this kind o' life? _

At the movement, however, River's eyes snapped open, awake and alert, and Jayne could feel her naked body tense against his side while she quickly processed her surroundings. When she looked up and her dark eyes met his, though, she actually smiled and he felt the tension drain from her body immediately as she let herself melt against him again. At that point, that strange soft feeling inside of him was back in full force, and he was blown away that with everything the girl had been through...even with _him_...that she still felt comfortable enough to let her guard down completely around him.

It made him feel proud...prouder than he could ever remember being before. It was at that moment that he realized, even though he had been more or less forced into it originally, he was definitely going to stick around and do his best to keep those promises that he had made to her on the day before. Not only was it the right thing to do...and it would make his Ma proud...but as he looked down at his wife, he knew that it was what he now wanted more than anything. After all, even though he knew the girl deserved better than him, there was no way that he could do better than her. At any rate, he knew without a doubt that he would never let anyone hurt River again…and he included himself in that statement, as well.

"Good to know, Husband," she said softly and Jayne felt yet another uncharacteristic rush of pleasant feelings at his new title - even as he was forcibly reminded of all of the other unusual abilities that his new wife had in addition to her fighting skills. Some of them might even prove troublesome to him in the future. After all, a woman was not meant to know all the personal thoughts in her man's head. However, he just did not have time to think...or worry...about that right then because River continued to speak.

"It's time to get up now," she said. "My brother is looking for me...and for an explanation."

Somehow, in his brief moment of happiness, Jayne had forgotten about the Doc and the rest of the crew. At his sudden look of apprehension, however, she laughed. "Do not worry, Husband. They will think about it, but I won't let them kill you. No power in the 'Verse can stop me from protecting what is mine...and you now belong to me."

Oddly enough, the thought of being her property did not damage his calm one bit. After all, she was his now, too! In fact, Jayne actually grinned at the idea before he pulled the petite woman up for a kiss. He would have given her much more than that, too, but the tap at his door and Simon's voice asking if he had seen his sister, interrupted them and completely ruined the mellow mood.

"Shit!" Jayne suddenly exclaimed. He had just realized that he was lying naked in bed and that a part of him was still obviously standing at attention. Therefore, he had to scramble for his trousers as River grinned mischievously at him on her way to answer the door in nothing but the crumpled nightdress she had picked up off of the floor.

...

The atmosphere on _Serenity_ was not quite so serene anymore once the yelling, accusations, and death threats started. Once River had been discovered in Jayne's room, somehow the other overprotective men on the ship had managed to temporarily forget that she had grown into a strong woman who could easily take care of herself. In fact, Jayne's prediction turned out to be quite accurate when he was indeed shoved into the airlock by a furious Mal. River's reaction, however, surprised everyone.

"He's _mine!"_ she stated, as she echoed Jayne's sentiment from the day before...and dangerous fire flashed in her eyes as she demanded that her _husband_ be released immediately. After the collective shocked reaction to her words, the marriage certificate was produced and explanations were finally made. Things calmed down a bit then, since even Simon realized that Jayne had actually protected River the best way that he knew how to at the time. However, tensions continued to run high since the doctor was still convinced that, regardless of her abilities, his little sister must have been taken advantage of by the mercenary...somehow_._

River was implacable, though, and she still moved her belongings into her husband's bunk room later that day, anyway - no matter how much her brother tried to talk her out of it. She then retired there for the night, as well - a fact that kept Simon on edge - no matter how much Kaylee tried to smooth matters over. After all, the ship's mechanic was a romantic at heart and was genuinely thrilled that both Jayne and River had found happiness in each other - no matter how odd of a couple they were. After all, she knew very well that space could be a lonely place.

Once Jayne and River emerged the next morning, however, and proved that they were just as sarcastic and snarky to each other as usual (albeit with far less scowls than previously), normality slowly began to set back in on the ship again. After all, it became obvious as time passed, that for the most part, things stayed exactly the same as they always had been. Jayne was still crude, River was still indecipherable, and together they were still the muscle during every caper, as well. Consequently, Simon and the rest of the crew eventually became accustomed to the newest couple in their midst - even though they all learned the hard way to knock before entering any room with a closed door that they might be occupying. The only problem was that they did not always bother to even close the door!

In fact, after he had walked in on the two of them at the pilot's console, Mal eventually had to lay down the law about "keepin' all carnal-like activities in the bunk rooms." It was a rule that made not only Jayne and River pout, but also Kaylee and Simon, as well - simply because both the mechanic and the doctor enjoyed his frequent "house calls" to the engine room.

Nevertheless, it was clear that despite his first reaction, Mal came to accept the unusual couple for what they were, as well. "Maybe the two of 'em ain't such a plumb crazy idea, after all," he was even overheard to say on more than one occasion - especially when he caught the usually hardbitten Jayne being extra gentle with his wife when he thought that nobody was looking. _That_ sight never failed to pleasantly surprise anyone who was lucky enough to witness it.

As for River and Jayne themselves...she continued to damage his calm on a regular basis. However, since it was now in all of the right and enjoyable ways, Jayne could not find much reason to complain about it!


End file.
